#its actually awful theyd be like this for years

[chiquilines]

Found your blog and istg we have the exact same taste in ships its amazing

Your art is keeping us all fed in the mha yuri drought fr KSHSKSK

Thanks for all the nice tags!! im glad to find someone else with good ship taste🙏🙏

On that topic one of the tags you left on a midjoke post was absolutely genius, i had to doodle it ;D

[songspirits]

rating fanon portrayals of the outsiders boys

note: my guesses on the canon personalities probably arent even true lol this is my opinion

-

ponyboy curtis

5/10

sometimes the portrayals are really good!! but i hate that often, people portray him either as a moody brat or a weak baby. he is canonically a good fighter, especially after the fire, though he doesn’t like to. hes a loner, hes a reader, hes a pacifist, hes a good kid.

you have to remember that the outsiders is literally written in HIS POINT OF VIEW!!! ofc yes he’s a sassy and snarky teenager but he is also so intelligent and smart. hes a loner, but the gang would never shun his company. he has so much depth that a lot of writers often forget. hes a 14 year old kid with thoughts of a adult and can only do so much. thats what makes the outsiders so relatable to alot of people. its his intelligence that makes him and darry argue, because of how darry sees himself in ponyboy

but also on the other side of the coin ponyboy is a fragile character after the events of the book, because he is 14!!! but he has thoughts!!

i feel like people forget his good traits and only focus on the bad (and oh my goodness does this count for darry too!)

sorry for my rambles i just love his character so much :-(

darry curtis

7/10

besides fanfiction.net and like 30% of the fics on ao3 hes actually a solid portrayal most of the time, but tons of people forget that his relationship with ponyboy wasnt actually that batshit awful. sure theyd butt heads alot and go back and forth but they love each other thats why they did that. hes so much more than just an angry man who happens to be ponyboys brother.

hes a man who peaked in high school (IM KIDDING) and lost it all not because of his brothers but because of his parents. there was probably some strong resentment there for a while until they died. darrys problem or flaw is that he cares too much and his fear turns to anger. its love for sodapop and ponyboy that brings him back when he realizes his anger is doing more bad than good for his little brothers. It’s opening up and allowing his brothers in that helps his character.

that being said, people often focus more on his bad traits than his good traits. its a running theme in the outsiders fandom, i’ve noticed

sodapop curtis

7.5/10

highest rating i have on this list!! fanfiction.net outsider fics ive gotta say i actually just cant handle it so thats why it isnt a full 8 and ao3 is a 50/50

people put that hes soft but also forget that hes wild. hes batshit CRAZY. hes just as protective as darry and just as snarky as ponyboy. hes soft!! hes rough!! sodapop curtis is a dynamic character!!!!

johnny

5/10

ehhhhhh, most johnny portrayals i’ve seen are either really good or really bad. kinda ponyboy’s problem, being seen as weak. hes just a dynamic character who is allowed to be weak but also has so many strong traits about him. he is a frightened wounded animal to most but to the gang hes something more than that. also, snarky and ‘over’ johnny portrayals are great.

dallas

4/10

most portrayals i’ve seen are pretty good but its the same problem ive seen in all the boys— they only focus on a few traits dallas has (aggressive, tough, hardened) and stick with that. forgetting the youth in dallas winston and making his character honestly… less tragic?

imo the tragedy of the outsiders is the youthfulness in all the boys and how shitty situations couldnt make them more vulnerable, so i would love more of a vulnerable dallas in fics around the gang. another thing, people forget how much ponyboy really does mean to dallas. johnny and ponyboy were both his brothers and he’d did so much for the both of them precisely bc of that

two-bit

5/10

again.💔people forget how DYNAMIC these characters are!!! two-bit knows when to get serious for the love of god!!

steve

1/10

what portrayal. ☹️ppl dont write him enough and if they do its like one line #justiceforsteve

in conclusion

the outsiders fandom often have such good portrayals but only for one part of their character. this isnt to shame anyone or anything!! but this is just a helpful criticism ?? for any writers out there portraying the boys!! trust me i had to think abt this too lmao

[ganondoodle]

i did a mini rant about it on twitter, but i want, and need, to say this here as well

it is sickening to see all media everywhere parrot israeli propaganda and lies while actively ignoring what they are doing to palestine, but especially so seeing it all being done just as much in germany, it feels even more personal bc shouldnt WE be the ones MOST critical of anyone enacting genocide?? a lesson to take from our awful, shitty, horrific history isnt we cannot criticize jewish people ever at all but that genocide is BAD

its seems like they are afraid of being called antisemitic by some people who dont know shit about whats going on so much so that theyd rather support a full blown genocide of 2 MILLION people, and it just

it scares me

i feel like a stranger in my own home, im avoiding news on radio and TV bc it feels like they are trying to brainwash me to cheer for the oppressors; we were responsible for a 5+ million genocide and now the media and politicians want us to support one of 2 million more??? what the fuck???

"well there are some evil people in this country we have been colonizing for years, guess we are gonna have to wall the entire region off so noone can leave and kill every single human life there, sorry, we had no other choice, dont look at us openly bragging about pulverizing a hospital filled to the brim with people seeking shelter from our 6000 mega bombs we dropped within a few days on this region, then calling palestinians 'children of darkness' and us the 'children of light', delete those posts, then change who we want to blame it on every few minutes bc people are starting to see through our lies, but dont you see? the bad people could have been anywhere, we had to, that hospital wasnt the first and wont be the last tho, so sad uwu"

how insane do you have to be to hear that and go "ah yes, that is very logical and justified and totally not obvious lies, heres a billion of currency and a metric fuckton of weapons to kill them all more efficiently, have fun and good luck"

?????????

if you think supporting palestine and wanting isreal to stop bombing them means you automatically support hamas you have no fucking idea what you are talking about actually and you need to educate yourself right about now, urgently

if you think the acts of one terror organisation represent an entire country and thus everyone living in it deserves to die for it, what the fuck is wrong with you there definitely are some horrible fascist, violent cults in the US, there absolutely are some in germany as well, do they represent the entire population of either countries and thus every single thing alive within its borders needs to die horrificly???

why did i have to sit in school trying not to cry my eyes out looking at fotos of piles of tortured, dead people, visit whats left over from concentration camps with all its looming feeling of doom, not even being able to stomach going into the building itself bc it made me want to vomit just being there and learn about every sickening detail of our awful history when im now here seeing and hearing it all over again, but this time im supposed to cheer for the oppressors?

i am appalled of so many countries being so complicit in supporting yet another genocide, but i am especially ashamed of my own. again.

free palestine.

[puzzled-pegasus]

Percy and Leo hcs because nobody frickin talks about them

Percy is a Staring Into Your Soul Audhd and Leo is a Avoids Eye Contact Audhd so when theyre in conversation percy will just be like 🟢_🟢 and it kinda freaks Leo out

They have literally the craziest conversations because both their hyperactive brains go all over the place and they just be saying shit

They say their intrusive thoughts out loud to each other sometimes and everyone around is like 😨

Sometimes when they both get mood swingy or overstimulated at the same time they have dumbass arguments and get grumpy at each other and then feel bad later and apologize

Both sensory seeking like crazy so togeyher they make the craziest food combos and eat em

Percy keeps extra sodas under his bed at camp and mostly theyre for him but he'll give them to his very good friends if they want some caffiene. He'd give one to any of the seven but Leo is his biggest taker

They never go to sleep at sleepovers they alwasy are like "ok we should go to sleep now" but then they keep telling stories and making dumb jokes until whoops it's 3:47 AM and neither of them have slept a wink

Leo and Percy and Piper all have a 7 year old's sense of humor when it comes to bathroom jokes

Piper and Leo also have a 12 yo sense of humor w sex jokes and Percy also laughs at those jokes but gets like flustered and it's hilarious

Percy n leo share fidgets with each other

I feel like they would start a crocheting hobby togetehr?? Idk

Both are pretty good at video games idk maybe theyd play together

Leo helps Percy w his math hw sometimes or like explains concepts to help him understand how it works

They have a running joke/quirky thing where they leave mini rubber ducks and other such fun knickknacks in each others space as a wholesome prank

They probably have a very silly secret handshake

Leo is sometimes very good at pulling out Percy's secret inner cringe/dork side by way of committing to his antics really hard and makijg the worst jokes and Percy can't help laughing even though he feels embarrassed as hell and it's such a good vibe lmaoo

Like it's very often that Percy has to hide his face in his hands after Leo makes a god awful joke because he feels so ashamed for laughing

Its good for percy tho cus he likes to be cool and tough skater boy and whatnot but yk hes just a dork ass nerd with a horrible sense of humor just like Leo

They tease and banter to each other like brothers sometimes trying to be as obnoxious as possibke but they're actually trying to show affection lol

[nyxi-pixie]

'skk dont like each other they literally always say they wanna kill each other'

as if they dont mean it in the most weirdass possessive 'no one else gets to kill you' way. as if dazai no.1 romanticiser of death osamu isnt being completely insane about it (bc what do you MEAN you've thought about killing him EVERY DAY for SEVEN YEARS)

(theyre also Lying bc theyd never actually kill each other otherwise theyd have done it already. its just a fun little exchange they have to be like 'wow ur so awful and detestable i wanna give u a lil kiss on the forehead (with a bullet<3)')

[itslilacokay]

Hi..i js wanted to say that i love how in one of your NS?AU wbf posts when TFV and Yellow reunite Yellow doesn't even. look happy compared to TFV.

Yellow actually just looks shocked, even during the part where their hugging,,, so that makes me wonder if there might be conflict in the group due to the fact he was terrorizing the Internet for years + probably trying to destroy it!! Just a thought though :]

Anyways, I'd like to say that CG and Yellow are basically like a "Your alive!!!" and "your...alive?" dynamic if that makes sense,, anyways, i think it's really cool!! Alrighty bye :3

YEEEESSS YOU NOTICED HEHEHEH

yellow wholeheartedly thought those four were dead and gone before reuniting with them, and hell the initial reason why he started terrorizing the internet was because of the lingering feelings of grief and anger! you can say it was the cause of blind rage turned into sadistic entertainment... and then to actually see them alive ...

also yes some conflict (and possibly denial) will definitely happen! your friend, whom you and the others thought was dead, was alive this whole time and he spent it... terrorizing the internet??

oh lird the moment they find out that, amidst the internet terrorizing, he also terrorized some websites that included fellow stickfigures.... its not toooo much of a stretch to believe that theyd get reminded of the animator at least a little bit... and to compare yellow to that ... thing?? awful. so awful

maybe it was a mistake? maybe that wasnt yellow and just some ..... i dunno some other yellow guy! thats definitely what happened right??? right???????

if only that was true.

[deepseacityunderground]

i did a pokeymon tierlist that took me three hours to do ;-;

i put it and explainations under a cut because its so big lmao. if you want it to not be blurry then open it seperately in desktop idk

lesbian tier: self explainatory (ill explain why i like them so much later)

my babies: good designs, sentimental, AND i like fighting with them

sentimental tier: various favs across the years, theyre more individuals than species to me because of my memories with these guys.

i wish pokemon were real: for pokemon that make me say "i wish pokemon were real"

ebic: i like them lots and i like to have them on my team

the funny little creatures: i smile when i see them and i like them

intriguing: hmm there is something here... but i'm not quite getting it maybe?

not rlly interested: this one is self explainatory... if ur fav is here im sorry :( im sure these guys are cool i just dont rlly think about them ever

fucked up: i dont like seeing them they make me uncomfortable

scyther was my first partner in my first pokemon game :) it was diamond. i overtrained scyther way too much and he (because it was a boy scyther) would do that thing where he doesnt listen in battle so i build his entire moveset around it. he was lost when i transferred him to heartgold and then dropped heartgold in some water. rip scyther always in my heart

togekiss was my friend alongside scyther. she was the first pokemon i ever trained up to lv.100. she was also a victim of the heartgold incident. rip togekiss always in my heart.

absol was the only one from my initial gamebeating diamond team to survive the incident. she was transferred over to my copy of platinum and after i ended up losing diamond, remained there happily. i dont want to transfer her to bank or home because i think itd be like moving an old cat to a new house. i dont want to upset her at her old age. also absol's design fucks. emo fringe lynx. absol is what sparked my emotions about dark types. also i played pmd1 as a kid.

gengar is gengar. also i played pmd1 as a kid and read a copious amount of fanfic focused around pmd1 gengar (everyone go read pmd victory fire now it doesnt even matter that its on forever hiatus and ended with a cliffhanger go read it)

the tentacool variations are here purely out of sentimentality. when i was much younger, id let my little sister borrow my copies of the gen 4 pokemon games. she was really young and didnt really care about rpgs in general at the time, so shed always just explore and catch random pokemon instead of actually playing the games. one time, after i got the games back from her, i looked in my pc and saw like. two full boxes of tentacool and tentacruel that shed caught. and they've all got nose themed nicknames like "nosey" or "nosenose" and other stuff like that. so apparently she was surfing about and saw a tentacool for the first time and was just. obsessed with how they looked and thought they looked like big noses (with the red spots being like nostrils i think) and just decided to catch loads and loads of them because she liked them so much. so it became an inside joke between us. i dont really have much in common with my sister anymore and our relationship is pretty cold rn but pokemon is the one thing we still hold in common. and ill always associate tentacool with her.

we all know why grovyle is where he is. same with dusknoir. theyre also good designs.

i really dont like enamourus because its fucked up how they designed three big buff genie men and then made one that was pink and skinny. awful. makes me angry. if they were buff theyd be one of my favs tho.

i really dont like the pla designs for dialga and palkia... theyve already both got very busy designs and i think these forms are Too Busy. i really wanted to like them but well... i look at giratinas two forms and cry over what could have been.

i dont like the tumblr sexyman lizard.

a lot of pokemon are in higher tiers cus theyre based on animals i like... i like a lot of cat pokemon for this reason. also i like the litten line cus it fucks. and my litten in sumo was a female and i like the idea of big buff wrester catgirl :3 incineroar is a really good design and shes big and strong... whats not to love.

also, i generally like a lot of designs which other pokemon fans dislike... i especially love more humanoid/furry "feminine" designs like primarina, lilligant, gardevoir, lopunny, tsareena, etc etc... i really dislike how a lot of these designs are just seen as like sexygirl designs by the community... sadly porn will exist of everything but these pokemon are also creatures. theyre animals. they may look a bit like a girl but they are still magic animals. like one time in moon i had a whole team of grass girlies and it was just fun to hang out with my funny grass lady creatures.

i like giratina because theyre a big ass antimatter caterpillar. drawing giratina helped me draw antropomorphic caterpillars actually. i like their big ass legs.

all eeveelutions are CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the lunar duo are my ultimate fav pokemon forever as a team for a big mix of all the other reasons. partly its sentimentality, cus i really liked them as a kid and i would always chill on fullmoon island in my copy of platinum and just listen to the music, i also always tried to do the void glitch to get darkrai but i always fucked up and never quite saw her! (i couldnt do the event cus living in shitty rural region reasons) i also liked battling with them in oras :3 i think their designs are very well done. they remind me of the "swan" series by hilma af klimt specifically, which is a series i really liked on its own. i dont think that was intentional, but i was looking at the work about a year or so ago for an essay and i sorta realized how well the overall color palette of that series matches the pair and cresselia specifically, because shes based on a swan ofc. and ofc darkrai is also birdlike but in a more abstract way. she actually reminds me a bit of the skeletons of one of those really fucked up breed pigeons with the receeded necks and huge fantails and tiny beaks and weird spindly legs. i also really like how unabashedly edgy darkrai's design is... i feel a lot of nostalgia for edgy character designs from the mid 2000s which were edgy in a very un-selfaware way (another reason why i like absol specifically and also like. so many ghost and dark types) and as an angsty kid i always used to gravitate towards those designs lol. i also think its kinda romantic, the idea of a creature which kills others simply by being around them, a typhoid mary type creature, which isolates itself due to that, with its only friend also being the only creature that negates its negative affects. and also that creature killed a kid in america (fucked up). thats how i interpret their relationship. anyway ive been having lots of thoughts about them for like over 15 years.

this is unrelated but its kinda annoying when ppl use gendered pronouns for genderless pokemon... its not gonna ruin my days its just. funny lol (ignore that i have used she/her for darkrai throughout this entire comment... when i do it, its ok <3) one of the sad flaws of the pmd series imo bcus the mainline games dont do that at all.

in general i think my likes and dislikes are more dictated by character design/sentimentality as opposed to ability in battle or fanservice or competitive meta ... this is just part of being a longtime fan who doesnt rlly keep up with the community anymore methinks. im kinda beating myself up for not putting more complex thought into this buuut also i wanna be true to myself yknow... but then again this community sucks so i feel like im gonna be attacked for putting idk wingull too low or something lol

[trolagygirl2022]

why does kpop keep putting undercooked and unseasoned idols out? so many of them are so young nowadays dont you think theyd be better off debuting later on in life when they actually have genuine skills? i mean le sserrafim if thats how its spelt didnt wow me enough and i dont think id ever invest in nor follow a group if they couldnt sing live what else would i follow them for if not their vocals? they wouldnt interest me. like are the members of the group not fussed about their poor vocals? id be so embarassed if i were them.

it just seems that newer generation kpop idols seem to lack most basic skills or they put out the most awful vocal performances askde from a few like skz ateez etc etc. it just seems such a waste of the group as a whole otherwise like older kpop used to be a bit more carefree or go with the flow type thing but now so many groups somehow seem to just lack experience. or its become so much about how idols look than it is anything else :(

will kpop ever let loose cause its got so much it should improve on but somehow never does? kpop at times does seem really frigid and set in its own ways. never truly letting some groups add to their own stages or overusing backing tracks and so on

i mean they can put out trash cans at this point and they would get a fan base. yaknow what i mean? even jyp has better chance of being kpop idol, it basically saying anyone can be idol if they have the face for it.

idk im on the fence about it bc itd just be nice if there were more older mature groups with actual experience like mamamoo for example. i think some groups seem so rushed to debut n thats why a lot of them sound like a sack of shit on stage. i dont condone witch hunts but i do thinkthe group should at least consider vocal training :/ but what do i know im not professional?

You cooked very hard on this one anon! I've been thinking the same thing for years now.

[mysimsyuri]

ok im just putting this here cuz its Technically lore for my self.ship au but it doesnt. revolve around my si. i just had a Very vivid image while high the other day and i need to get the lore Out of my head lest i explode and die

ok so listen to me listen hear me out cmere listennnn: sha.wn spe.ncer dysphoria.

ive Mentioned that i hc him as nb but i think he only realizes in canon like,, after the show maybe . HOWEVER videos prescence definitely changes a Lot including shawns gender >:]c

so in my au shawn tells jules he isnt psychic a Lot sooner so what happens in deez nups (thanks episode titles) goes Very differently ! mainly in that there isnt rlly,, a fight ?

like ok. the entire time shawn is a Bachelor hes at a Bachelors Party and hes a Guy and hes wearing a suit that feels like its choking him and his dad is having a talk with him about being a Spencer Man and not continuing the cycle. the entire day shawns been having this,,, feeling that Wont go away and all of this only serves to make him feel worse.

so he chugs the prosecco and comes back to jules, and just sits there kinda miserable while she talks. she notices theres smth not right w him and tries her best to pry it out of him, but he just. cant. she goes on abt how if he rlly doesnt wanna tell her he doesnt have to, but that she Does love him and he can always come to her for anything. things have been changing a lot recently, what with marlowe and lassie and rachael and gus, but she assures him that they all still love him, and that hell always be their boyfriend-

shawn breaks at that and as jules tries to figure out what she said that went wrong, shawn tells her that gus will want to dance w her, and he leaves the party early.

then in right turn or left for dead shawn kinda,, avoids jules.

(shawn knows by this point that shes trans. theyve known video for years and while vids made a couple jokes abt shawn being nonbinary (mostly spurred on by shawn saying out of pocket things abt gender) they never like,, made her feel like she had to be anything. shawn appreciates it but now she wishes shed asked for help because oh god,,, she wants to get to know herself better and actually feel comfortable in her own skin but she is Terrified that jules and lassie and gus are going to leave her. shes known gus her whole life and the change might be the straw that broke the camels back, lassie is. well. lassie, and jules... shawn wants to Marry jules, as much as That thought scares her. shes sure shes the one and the idea of her leaving Hurts.)

so shawns out here concussed, dysphoric as all hell, covered in blood, and preemptively heartbroken. havin a time!

they dream of a scenario where the night had gone differently, where theyd told jules and shed been incredibly supportive. the girl is dead, sure, but hey, shawn can be nonbinary!

jules, on the other hand, is trying to talk to shawn but they keep avoiding her and she doesnt know why. she thinks they might want to break up with her, which hurts like hell, but if thats what they want, who is she to stop them? if only theyd Tell her.

so after the case is solved and jules saves shawn, she all but Drags them home to actually talk.

jules just straight up tells them: shawn, if you want to break up with me, do it. its okay.

and shawn just,,, breaks down Sobbing. they tell her Everything, how scared they are of losing her and how Awful theyve been feeling and aaagh. they say that they go aaagh

but jules scoops them up in her arms and assures them she wont leave them,, she loves them sososo much gender and all :'] <3

aaaurgh they make me happy. i hate how seasons 7 did them (NOT THAT I HATED THE BREAKUP IT WAS SOOOO GOOD BUT LIKE. i hated how shawn acted afterward,, season 6 and onward has Not been it for characterizations at all i fucking hate it)

ok gush sesh over more lore: idk how the rest of the episodes breakup era would go considering theyre together in my au but erm,, w jules and videos help (she comes out to vid next whos like "i knew,, but im proud of you ily") shawn comes out to everyone else and tries out new pronouns and expressions and a teehee :]] theyre all so happy and trans and gay and its great

[drpeppertummy]

it's not just a want but a NEED. a lusty, dusty desire I have for Dark Sunny Lore

You Sicko . The Dark Sunny Lore [warning for illness death suicide self harm child abuse/neglect etc]

his dad never wanted him bc he only wanted 3 kids & sunny was an accidental #4. was always very open about not wanting him bc hes a shitty old bitch

additionally sunny was sick all the time & frequently in the hospital (asthma + other respiratory ailments) & dad was resentful bc he never wanted this sick kid taking up all his time & money

his mom was super loving & wonderful but she died when he was like 12. she died from some kind of respiratory situation & the question of Was It His Fault And Will It Kill Him Too is always in the back of his mind

not long after mom died his dad tried to passively let him die too by refusing to take him to the hospital when he was really sick. his sister giuliana finally took him after coming home from school one day & seeing how awful he looked

was good about being in the hospital as a kid & was always like the nurses little darling bc he was such a sweetie but now has a medical phobia bc in his brain its associated with all that misery & pain & fear

outside of his home life pretty much everyone always liked him & he always had a lot of friends & was popular etc but nothing ever made up for the damage his dad did to him mentally

he knows people like him on a superficial level bc he knows hes cute & charismatic on a superficial level but hes scared that if people get close to him theyll realize hes just annoying & hate him

secretly terrified that his friends hate him & are just tolerating him

prone to bouts of depression, often spirals into a terrible mental state if he stays up late. Night Brain hits hard esp when its mixed with rsd

when he was in college he tried to kill himself by taking a bunch of random medications with a bunch of vodka & it made him sick & knocked him out for a while but miraculously didnt kill him

he woke up in the same spot he left himself in & realized nobody found him or noticed & therefore nobody could care. wanted to tell someone so bad bc he Needed somebody to care & hug him & say they were glad he was alive but he was scared to bc he thought theyd get mad at him or think he was too much or not care since he was "fine" so he just peeled himself off the floor took a shower & went to class like nothing happened. his professor scolded him for coming in hungover

(he eventually told gray about it years later & gray held him & gave him that years-awaited love & care & it was like a soul-healing moment for him)

(gray knows more about him than anybody & he worries about him a lot & sunny feels bad for worrying him but he also appreciates that grays always there for him)

as a kid he would bite himself a lot if he was upset/frustrated/overstimulated & he still does sometimes but only when hes alone. its almost like a reflex & if anyone saw hed be mortified

once in a while tho he like actually cuts himself. if someone asks what happened he gives some absurd excuse like "i got mauled by a bear" & refuses to elaborate bc hes scared & ashamed

hes trying to get better but he almost certainly will attempt suicide again someday. he wont succeed but he Will be so so terrified that his friends are gonna be mad at him for it when he comes to (spoiler: they wont be mad at him)

apart from gray his friends dont know the extent of his mental health problems bc he tries to keep it to himself bc he doesnt wanna worry them & bc hes ashamed & afraid they wont want him anymore. the most they really see of it is him being moody sometimes

once in a while somebody will see him break down over something & they know his dad sucks & they know he misses his mom & they can piece together that hes gotta be hurting but hes usually so bouncy & bubbly & cheery that they dont realize how bad it is

[wizisbored]

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

a few years ago i was awful about sticking to chronological order but that was mostly because i wasnt actually posting fic, just fucking around with my Situations, so i kinda didnt have a reason to write anything that wasnt the scenes i was most interested in. once i got into actually posting my stuff i got into the habit of writing in order a lot more because im actually trying to tell the full story chapter by chapter now. i do sometimes still skip ahead to different chapters and write scenes im particularly hyped for or have a really solid mental picture of in advance but more and more often im just doing it in bullet-point outline form. i think thats actually because my idea of characterisation and motivation and all that changing throughout a story has improved. most of my stuff is very much focused on characters and character dynamics, and because my outlining is pretty loose if i try to skip ahead i dont know exactly where that characters attitude towards the situation and other characters is going to be by that point. to take netherborne as an example - its hard to skip ahead in that fic because i dont know exactly what lydia and beetlejuice's dynamic is going to look like at any given time. sure, i have a rough idea of how it evolves, but i cant pin down exactly how theyd talk to each other or what theyd tollerate from one another. i kinda just let these things naturally evolve as i write them, so skipping ahead puts me in a bit of a void. hence, i mostly only outline.

i do do small jumps fairly often though, as in a paragraph or two. if im getting really stuck on writing a particular moment in a chapter ill often just stick a bookmark there and skip to the next part i feel like i can write, and come back with fresh eyes later. i use a table of contents extention in google docs so its pretty easy to just put a header called 'bookmark' wherever im currently writing. the first chapter of runnign iorn actually has three right now - one because i havent properly figured out how to open it, one because i havent fully figured out how to finish beetlejuice's first scene, and one where im up to with lydia

(from this ask game)

[dual-fantasy]

i think the chowie household would be the absolute worst for like a solid year. i imagine them moving in together before they start dating(around the time they start actually being friends and bowie realizes he needs to get the fuck out of the beach house, i imagine the whole Situation happens/starts when theyre like.. 20). chase is actively going through the worst moments of his life. he is also the worst houseguest ever even if he wasnt crying every day at least once. him moving in with bowie was absolutely a horrible idea in hindsight. the beach house sucked but it was somewhere familiar for him to wake up in a feral panic(and the beach guys wouldnt try and figure out what happened. theyd sit with him until he stopped freaking out but they wouldnt ask him about it) first nightmare at bowies house was full on rabid dog behaviour frothing at the mouth and everything but theyre also funny as hell bowie takes him clothes shopping the first week and its awful. he teaches him how to load the dishwasher. it wont let me send the emojis but Grave Dog

yes omg they are the absolute worst when it starts. neither of them are very good at adapting when it starts. chase isn't used to having someone make him talk through his emotions, so when he wakes up screaming Bowie tries to help but it doesn't do anything for either of them. they're so tragic and nothing good can come from it. they're both 20ish or old enough to own an apartment, and I think Bowie is going to uni but chase isn't. so chase stays home all day and he doesn't know what to do. they eventually improve but it takes a while.

they're the silliest though. they mean everything to me always and they're so so stupid and tragic and everything. Bowie takes chase out on a date and it goes horrendously. it's so fun to me. grave dog you understand them

[day-mark]

okay one more thing i need to get off my chest-

actually soo annoying that people are trying to use only dream stans getting mad as a way to link dream to being a groomer or as some kind of gotcha. like damn, its almost like the group of people that have had their trauma thrown around, joked about, and shoved in their face for more than a year would be upset at someone joking about the very same topic. yeah no shit dream stans are pissed, not only did our streamer go through a traumatizing year of false accusations and assault as a result, fans also had to deal with people shoving it in their faces and making jokes about it!! including ccs they looked up to! people were getting told theyd get groomed! people were saying that shit to peoples kids! and like idk man, even if you have no personal experience with that kind of abuse it still fucks you up to think that someone you looked up to has harmed children?? and then to have someone casually bring it up like its something to laugh at despite all the awful feelings surrounding that topic is just.

[talentless-witch]

Seeing about fantasy bringing knowledge about actual hope.

Heres my horrible tedtalk about fantasy anime.

Everything was great until the nation of the red haired knight protagonists came.

Then everything went down to ashes, okay not really, but i really liked that trope mostly because man would suffer, kill himself, perhaps be mutilated ,traumatized and beyond repair and hed still have hope over people.

By that i mean that despite the worst case in the world being shown in their face they still have hope that one day people will be at peace and i think thats beautiful especially in this pessimistic times of the year

Now what became annoying was the fact that

1-theyd never acknowledge consequences that theyd face in their journey or just brushed complicated cases like it never even existed, which is a bad lesson

It doesnt even teach you why you should still have hope with those in mind.

2-in so many of these, theyd make them a brat and an idiot, but the worst part is that in 2 years theyd change their entire self, like theyre literally completely different, they suddenly become angel and saints when thats not how it works and theyd see being stupid and kind of bratty has an awful thing, Which imo is an even worse lesson.

Which is erasing your entire being, personality and such from the face of the earth, its okay to grow up, but its also okay if some personality about your past stays with you.

3-Kind of rare but in some of them theyd be straight up not brats, not stupid, but terrible to their friends, its okay to be bratty and not understand some situations, its totally different to just offend and insult your friend in the worst way possible because "you didnt understand" my word did you not understand.

Cue my favorite character from this trope and its not from an anime its from a gosh darn korean videogame, that is pretty much inspired on another anime and its clear as day but ANYWAYS.

I just like him

I LIKE ALL OF HIS GOSH DARN PATHS.

I LOVE RUNIE, LOOKS FUN, ABS, GREAT PONYTAIL, ABS, I WAS OBSESSED WITH RUNE MAGIC ON MY CHILDHOOD, ABS, DID I ALSO MENTION THE ABS

AND THE FACT THAT ELSWORD ACKNOWLEDGES HIS SITUATIONS LIKE. BRO.

I ALSO LIKE THAT although he changes a lot because his journey begins when hes 13 until hes 18 years old and hes a brat and kind of uneducated not straight up stupid(he can be smart at times), HES NOT AN ABSOLUTE BUTT TO HIS FRIENDS AND SOME OF HIS OLD TRAITS REMAIN, LIKE HES NOT ALL PERFECT DANDY ANGEL, HES AN ACTUAL PERSON.

I LOVE WHEN HES BLAND AS ROCKS BUT IN A GREAT WAY, NOT IN THE AWFUL WAY.

HES FINE. NOT THAT FINE I MEAN HES TRYING HIS BEST TO KEEP HIMSELF TOGETHER MENTALLY, BUT HES FINE.

Anyways i love elsword. Yes Thats his name.

Yes I did expect the game to be about a sword made by some mystical power which is called El for sure.

But no thats the name of the character, im not sure whats worse being called dicks mcgee or being called elsword.

.

.

.

I think id choose elsword.

i still have no idea who would name their child after a sword, elesis is a fine name, it may sound weird but not entirely because it sounds like an actual fantasy name, so what is elsword supposed to be and why would you call your child a sword, i dont get that, i really don't, its dumdum but i love him.

Still much better than being called lento, which is slow...IN SPANISH.

Some really smart person on the team really decided to call a npc character knight slow in Spanish and i could never stop laughing about it when i saw that in game.

You can make a bunch of puns with Ran too.

Chung couldn't kill ran because he just "ran" away.

Also IT IS REALLY AWFUL THAT THEY NAMED CHUNGS DAD HAS HELPUTT

BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE HELP MY BUTT

I FEEL AWFUL SAYING THAT CUZ I LOVE CHUNG SM TOO AND HIS DAD IS WHOLESOME TOO HIS DAD IS AN AWESOME DAD.

talking about help my butt and prince.

Lets talk about the lord of hamel

The lord of hamel has never looked more of a presumed entitled rich pompous butt, like i could tell he was a bad dude the second he popped in screen, "the enemy could be anywhere!" Cue the most evil entitled looking person walking down the streets of hamel with the yee yee haircut.

Even the dude in bethma didnt look this evil or pompous, just looked rich and entitled that was it, but the lord of hamel just SCREAMS "YAAASS IM THE EVIL GUY, YAAASS"

Though another character that looks extremely distrusting that NOBODY except for chung and ain coincidentally noticed to perhaps be hiding some shady stuff.

Is add.

I forgot laby also calls him the evil looking guy or villain guy and i have never agreed with a description about add so much.

Anyways thats it.

Thats my tedtalk, for those who read this far, congratulations, you played yourself- do not- read this far its like my obsession and my lazy ass head.

[videostak]

the good news is that playing ace attorney seems real fun. exciteed to play it more tho i think thats what may have kicked off my headache today since i dont play handheld games that often lol. but also i think mainly it was cause i had a light breakfast and kinda stayed in bed for a long time. p depressing annoying day todayyyy idk what im gonna do abt. anything. like i love my cats and every1 in my family acts like theyre a nuisance and acts like its not on them if they escape rly genuinely awful especially coming after like half of the past year being spent watching all their pets when theyd go on vacation lol. my record store job is good but idk how long it will go on and when it will end and when it does i think ill be back at point one. since its under the counter work its not rly giving me any written experience that i can actually include on job applications and every1 in my family acts like i dont even have  a job. like its not even a conversation iwant to get in w/ them like anytime it comes up that im considered the stores buyer and that its expected of me to consistently bring stuff in they act surprised and ask me if im stilll looking for work. like fuuuck you 100 times lol. tho also dont wanna act like its all aimed at me specifically like my older sister is working two jobs shes working for my dad helping him w/ his work and then working another job and my dad still talks to her like she has all the free time in the world and is always lazing abt. but ya my record store job is great rn but it could rly end any second as that one time when it did end taught me. and if it does i wouldnt be surprised if awhile went by w/ me being in the dark abt it. just have to work rly hard constantly bring in great top notch stuff and then go back to college but its rly the cats that have me like so tied down. i love them and idk if id even be where i am today w/o them like they bring me so much happiness that has got me thru truly dark times but idk what im gonna do w/ them like cauase it feels like i always have to make sure that the rest of my family acknowledges that they need to be more careful when opening doors n stuff when theyre there. just hoping after dendy gets neutered he calms down moar.

[angeleccstasy]

HOLY SHIT THAT'S SO COOL???? I LOVE HOW WELL THOUGHT OUT THE STORYLINE IS IM SOOOO AHEHFHEHDHE I FR WANNA KNOW MORE (also i thought they'd kiss at the end but nevermind- im quite alright with mutual abuse too(

here are their designs this is pretty old as you can tell and i dont think the heights look accurate at all + a bunch of other nitpicks but wuteva :"]]

OHHHH IF ONLY THEYD KISS MAN, IF ONLY THEY WOULD :CC but tysm !!! gahhh that means !! a lot !!!! :"333 so uh yeah! i havent been able to fully draw prisoner and warden yet aside from a few unfinished sketches ANYWAYS lemme slow down a bit and talk abt some other stuff outside of themes and plot :0 so abt their designs, prisoner is 6'4 ft mixed but mostly of black descent, appears 25 yrs old, slim/skinny build hes actually a little underweight bcuz of how little he eats, short dark wavy slightly curly hair, has eyebags and some other facial imperfections around his body but other than that, since i based him off of serial killer archetypes, hes pretty conventionally attractive and has a pleasant voice and demeanor :]] warden is 6'3 also mixed but less so than prisoner and mostly of brown descent, appears 23 yrs old, slim/skinny build like prisoner but he eats a bit more so he looks less like skin and bones, short straight black hair, has a bit of acne due to long periods of exposure to the elements and such but again since hes also based off serial killer archetypes, hes also conventionally attractive and has a pleasant voice! SO off to where the story begins ohohhohhhh ill keep this short but. the warden and the prisoner have been going at it for nearly 2000 years, and what theyve been doing pretty much is that they run into each other every few weeks/months and they just! stab and shoot and fight to the death! :D smtimes this happens bcuz they yknow run into each other smtimes this happens bcuz prisoner tries to kill someone and warden, who likes to stalk him for long periods of time just to prevent this from happening, has to come into the rescue and fuck prisoners shit up and if theyre feeling especially vengeful they generally put each other thru smth awful .. hooray? but yeah! pretty much i started writing this story bcuz i was just fascinated by the idea of how far/extreme i could take the enemy-enemy dynamic in fiction and what i could do w/ that concept !! and then from there it evolved into an exploration of trauma and how it horrifically distorts and rewires the way 2 people view themselves and their actions and the world, leading them to manipulate and brutalize and torture each other, and letting the fact that youre a victim blind you from the fact that youre also an abusive person, and thats its not entirely the other persons fault but also your own :[ i think that the prisoner and the warden are fundamentally very different people, they just react to trauma the same way: they are very sensitive to it and they dont know how to handle it, they can only let the hurt eat them from the inside out and cause more hurt ..

and! if you dont mind me very pretentiously including this quote from house of leaves here adjusted slightly since i think it absolutely fits the way these 2 view each other:

I'm afraid. [He] is hungry. [He] is immortal. Worse, [he] knows nothing of whim.